The moment she said ‘hello,’ you could hear the catch in her voice, trying desperately to sound normal and to hold back her tears.
When I asked her to take a gentle, deep breath, the dam broke. Tears of frustration, sadness, pain come pouring out.
The trigger? Valentine’s Day. Too many advertisements about flowers and candy and jewelry and so-in-love couples. Too many messages that, being single, she wasn’t enough, that she was alone and maybe even unlovable.
Karen’s actually bright, funny, pretty, and completely lovable. Her upset is really due to the lies she’s come to believe – and which all the Valentine’s Day marketing just rubs in her face. Oh, how easily we can fall prey to the misguided messages of advertisers! (My hubby, romantic that he is, swears V-Day is a ploy by jewelers, florists, and Hallmark to generate more business!)
You see enough of those lovey-dovey, romantic couples and you think that’s how it’s supposed to be. Your husband or sweetie doesn’t bring you flowers or some sparkly little gem? He must not love you as much as that guy on the “He got it at Jared’s” ad loves HIS girlfriend. (and then, just a tiny, little niggle of resentment starts to form against your sweetie – even when you know better!)
These sneaking little lies creep in and make you feel less loved, less appreciated, less worthy. Let me repeat that: these thoughts that sneak in are LIES.
What can you do about them?
As I’ve mentioned in previous articles, one of the first things to do is a Spill – a brain dump – of all the thoughts that come up about you and your worth – especially around Valentine’s Day, seeing the misbeliefs and even lies you’ve accepted as truth. Then you have room to instead fill up with what is helpful and healthy and supportive.
I believe that some of the sacred writings can give us a much better perspective on who we really are, how we are seen through the eyes of the Divine, the Real Beloved.
Allow your heart to drink in the beauty of some of these writings and poems:
Upon the reality of man, however, He hath focused the radiance of all of His names and attributes, and made it a mirror of His own Self. Alone of all created things man hath been singled out for so great a favor, so enduring a bounty.
~ Baha’u’llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha’u’llah
…love is attained through the knowledge of God, so that men see the Divine Love reflected in the heart. Each sees in the other the Beauty of God reflected in the soul, and finding this point of similarity, they are attracted to one another in love. This love will make all men the waves of one sea, this love will make them all the stars of one heaven and the fruits of one tree. This love will bring the realization of true accord, the foundation of real unity.
Every heart can shine like a mirror, where we can potentially recognize the beauty of God’s light. ~ Rumi
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
If you take some time to dump out some of the toxic mind chatter and fill up with the beautiful wisdom of God, I guarantee your heart will be lifted. Keep up the practice and you will come to truly Love Being You and feel the love of the Beloved.