Are you one of those “good girls” who has always tried to play by the rules? The woman who wants to keep the peace and not rock the boat?
You’re in good company! A huge number of women have been raised not to be sassy. In fact, according to Dr. Linda Tillman, founder of SpeakUpForYourself.Com., our culture STILL tends to promote the idea that females should exhibit deferent behavior (‘good girl’), while males are expected to be more assertive, even aggressive,
But as a smart women with smart ideas, if you keep quiet when you have something you’d really like to say, you aren’t doing yourself any favors. You may actually be hurting yourself and your chances for success. It’s likely you won’t be paid attention to or taken as seriously as those who are willing to make a few waves.
Assertiveness – being a Miss Sassy Pants – isn’t about changing anyone else or their behavior. It is about honoring yourself and what’s true for you.
Speaking up, even when it’s uncomfortable, can be hugely important!
A few years ago, I was scheduled for surgery. At the pre-op appointment, my physician and I were going over all her notes and the paperwork, when something caught my eye. I’d had some nurse’s training and had a modest familiarity with medical terminology and what I saw raised a big red flag.
According to the pre-op notes, I was being scheduled for a far more radical procedure than I’d believed. And, not what I wanted! A million thoughts ran through my head – this couldn’t have been what we discussed. Surely there was a mistake and I had to say something!
Who do you think you are, Miss Sassy Pants?
Here we were the day before surgery and with my limited understanding of medical terminology and procedures, I was ready to question my doctor? Judgmental voices accused me, “Who do you think you are, Miss Sassy Pants? Maybe you’re wrong. Maybe this is what needs to be done.”
Despite my qualms about questioning her, I gathered my courage and told her I thought there was a mistake being made, that I was not intending to have the more radical procedure. It turns out that she had just assumed that I, like many other women, would just prefer to do the complete procedure – get everything over and done with.
Everything went well with my procedure, and I was so happy that I didn’t allow my ‘who are you to question’ gremlin override my inner knowing! It’s definitely given me the courage to speak out when my inner guidance is urging me to share my thoughts, ideas, or points of view!
Sure, sometimes I’m shut down or my idea goes nowhere, but more often than not, my perspective is welcomed. (As it was with my physician – she was all for the more modified surgery!)
Here are some simple guidelines for letting Miss Sassy Pants have her say:
- Pay attention to your intuition, those gut feelings that grab you, poke, or prod you.
- Practice sharing those intuitive hits or ideas. And keep practicing…people may not be used to listening to you – they’ll come around
- Expect some waves – once they start listening, they may not LIKE what you have to say. That’s okay…you’re doing this for you
- Don’t take negative feedback personally. It may sting for a bit, but you’ll get over it. When you remember to let things roll off, you gain the strength and courage to be a little sassy – and proud of it.
Is there a Miss Sassy Pants in you who’s itching to get out? To speak up, no matter what anyone else thinks? If you need it, you’re hereby granted permission to let Miss Sassy Pants out to have her say! Go ahead, rock the boat a little bit! (You may even come to LIKE it!)