Escaping the Not Good Enough Trap
What makes your heart ache?
For me, one of my biggest heartaches is seeing amazing women somehow dimming their light because they worry they’re not good enough – smart enough, pretty enough, young enough, etc. It seems they’re never enough. And it’s all a bunch of crap. They’ve got brilliant work to share and those lies stop them.
And everyone misses out. The women who have the gifts (and are heartbroken because they aren’t sharing them) – and those who need them. Isn’t that heartbreaking? I know I want to help change that! The question a lot of these wonderful women ask is:
So, how do you get over feeling not good enough?
As someone who fought my own not good enough battles, I discovered that there really are some steps you can take to ‘get over’ feeling not good enough. I call them GONGE – Getting Over Not Good Enough. Those feelings and beliefs are often long-held, so it doesn’t happen over night, but the steps really work!
The GONGE steps
- Spill – a brain dump…what are the things you say to or about yourself, the thoughts you think about yourself, your circumstances.
- Sift & Sort through everything you’ve dumped
- See the Truth – allow yourself to see what you’ve been holding on to that’s influencing how you live
- Stand in YOUR Truth – you’ve got some faults, sure. But you’ve also got some great qualities and strengths. OWN ‘em!
- Shine & Share – in order to get over feeling not good enough, you also have to allow yourself to shine and be seen, to share who you really
are with people who will celebrate you and that you can celebrate. Your naysayers will still be around, but your new awarenesses and connections
will far outweigh the opinions of those who are accustomed to keeping you small.
The steps work hand-in-hand and the first two are key – spilling out what you’ve come to believe and then sorting through those beliefs, detangling them from one
another, so you can move on with greater clarity.
So, what do you do? One of the first things you’re likely to do it slide that puppy out and pour out the contents so you can see what’s really in there.
Unused napkins and 3 packs of soy sauce from Chinese takeout, extra cabinet hooks, birthday candles, 3 small binder clips, a bunch of pens, some gadget
you have no idea about…all sorts of crazy stuff that’s just gotten buried in that drawer.
Well, you and your junk drawer have some similarities. You’re continually bombarded with information, some of which is useful in the moment. But most of it gets tucked away because you’re too busy to deal with it! Like that junk drawer, you often forget what’s even in there – and some of it definitely doesn’t belong!
When you want to start fresh, when you want to do things differently, when you want to get over not feeling good enough, so you can bring our gifts to the
world, you need to empty out some of the junk you’ve accumulated and stored inside.
Just like the junk drawer, you need to dump the contents so you can become clear about what you’re really dealing with. Once you’ve done this Spill, you can
more easily see what you’re dealing with and sort through – what’s valuable and what’s junk. What you want to keep and what to let go of.
This week, take some time to start your Spilling process. Use a notebook to jot down those Not Good Enough thoughts. If you can, keep the notebook with you so you can add to it when you know your ‘not good enough’ stuff gets triggered. The more you know what’s lurking inside, the better you can conquer what keeps you from really shining!